Commitment

                                                  Heyaz peeps,

Here's what I wore today!

I've made a commitment to myself to try and dress more fashionably...I don't wanna be that total slob when I get to NYU  :x ... not that this is a fashionable outfit by any means but considering how I am almost always in black leggings, uggs and some baggy sweater, its a bit nicer than normal? :D

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When I asked some of my more fashionable friends how they got to be so stylish I ended up with the same conclusion...get a good wardrobe first! That means getting a bunch of stuff that can kinda all go together and then mix and match from there...

So much work though! And money....

I've decided that once I lose about another 5-10 pounds I'm going to seriously get on that ish though >:3

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Speaking of losing weight...

I broke my diet today!! AGAIN!!!

AHHHH I'm so frustrated with myself!!!

It wasn't as bad as this sunday but still...I was only good for one day!! Sigh... -_-

Anyway my new plan is this...

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Since I want to lose about 5 pounds by the 31st (which gives me 16 days starting tomorrow) I need to have a calorie debt of about 1,100 everyday.

Before you freak out let me elaborate...

Firstly I know that given my height and weight and age I should be having aboouuut 1,400 - 1,500 calories a day to maintain

So to have a debt of 1,100 that means eating about 300 a day...

Crazy right? Gonna tell me not to starve myself?

Well...I know its not healthy/sustainable/blah blah blah...

but the point is I dont really care.

Sorry!

But seriously I want to lose the weight by prom! I've heard healthy weight loss is about 2 lb a week...so what I'm doing isn't TOO much more than that...

Plus, I've done this before.

(crazy/hardcore dieting)

Thats actually really the only way I've ever lost weight....

Which say alot about me/my discipline I know but at this point thats not that important to me!

I'll worry about healthy/maintainable weight loss AFTER prom.

So until then, heres my plan:

By May 31st have a total calorie deficit of 17,500!

So if I add 1,100 to that per day I should be good!

I'm going to try to exercise some every other day or so and that way I'll 'gain points' that I can use when I need

(like my friend's party this saturday :D )

I'm aiming to exercise what averages out to be 250 calories per day.(so if I exercise every other day, I need to burn 500 cal per workout, which is pretty doable)

The reason I'm putting all this up online is two-fold...

number one, it'll give me more motivation to stick to it when I know I made a commitment in front of the whole world (cuz the whole world TOTALLY reads my blog/gives a crap what I have to say :D)

and number two, hopefully as I track how I do each day, if someone else trying to lose weight is trying to work out how they will meet their goals, they can read about my plans/results and it might help them?

OH and btw here are my statistics...

I am around 109 lb? I've heard you're body holds about 6-7 lb of food and when I was hard dieting before, the lowest weight I got to was 103.8 (This was on May 12th I think?) . At that point I had like no food belly and after I TOTALLY broke and binged that day, the highest my weight got to was like 110.4 lb! (This was a bit extreme b/c I obviously didn't gain 7lb of actual weight...when I was at 103.8 that wasn't my "real weight"; I had no food inside me adding to that weight. So for now my estimation of my "real weight" (what I would be when I'm  not dieting or binging but eating normally) is probably 108-109ish. 

By May 31st, I want to be around 100 

(so real weight would be 105 ish. )

(I guess I should have put this at the beginning of this post but I'm too lazy to fix that now :P)

So....ya. Thats the plan. I'll keep you posted on how it goes! As I type this I'm like 107 pounds but thats not with a completely full food belly since I really didn't eat anything yesterday so the only food in me is the stuff I ate today (so there isn't much food in my intestines/digestive stuffs, only what made it into my stomach today) Hopefully by tomorrow I'll be in the 105 range? Find out tomorrow!

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For now, I think I might go run for a bit to get a head start on that burn 250 cal a day thing or maybe get to my hw...or take a nap lulz :D

Okk thats enough rambling for today! Me outtie!

-Ava 

***update: sooo I kept eating after I posted this and am at like 109 right now... X_X 

words can't even describe how horrible I feel about myself...

 Here's a picture of me in shame :(

Well at least its good motivation to go really hard tomorrow and then stick to it for the next 2 weeks? Hopefully by the end of tomorrow I'll be at 105.8? 

Fingers crossed! XXXXXXX

Ok I guess I should actually do some homework before I pass out... Night :/

P.S. Food belly says night too!

....stupid foodbelly no one likes you!Go awayyyy T_T

Lulz ok peace peeps!